Leadership Through Betrayal: How to Stay Human in the Workplace Without Losing Authority

James Powell
May 8
5 min read

Updated: May 9

Leadership betrayal in the workplace cuts deep—but it doesn’t have to cut you down.

There’s a specific kind of pain that comes with leadership betrayal in the workplace. It’s not just disappointment—it’s disorientation.

Closeup photo of a human face centred on the eye with the words "your humanity is not a liability" superimposed.

Someone you trusted, mentored, or confided in crossed a line. Maybe they went behind your back. Maybe they challenged your integrity. Maybe they played the politics you’ve spent your whole career trying to rise above.

And now, you’re left holding the emotional aftermath.

"Leadership norms" teach us to stay calm, composed, and professional. You're not a robot and betrayal doesn’t care about your leadership title. It hits the human behind the role. It is emotional.

Let’s be clear about something most people won’t say out loud:

This kind of pain deserves to be felt.
You don’t need to bury it.
You don’t need to pretend you’re fine.
You need space to feel angry, heartbroken, confused, or betrayed—and the compassion to stay with yourself through it all.

When I coach clients, it's not to talk about “moving on” or “rising above it” right from the start. First we talk about staying grounded. Then we work on a plan about how to lead yourself first—through the rawness, the rupture, and the rebuilding.

The Emotional Fallout of Betrayal Isn’t Just a Feeling—It’s a Wound

Leadership betrayal in the workplace doesn’t just bruise your ego—it shakes your foundation. When someone you trusted undermines you, it creates a rift between your instincts and your sense of safety. Especially if gaslighting was involved.

Gaslighting hits hard because it makes you question your reality.

It’s not just what happened—it’s the way it was denied, downplayed, or deflected. You start second-guessing what you saw. You wonder if you’re being “too sensitive” or “not a team player.” And slowly, you stop trusting yourself.

This is the quietest, most dangerous part of betrayal. Not the loss of trust in them—the loss of trust in you.

You might feel:

Paralyzed by self-doubt
Disconnected from your team
Numb, angry, or alternating between the two
Isolated—even while performing at a high level

And here’s what you need to hear: All of this is normal. And all of this deserves compassion. Leadership often teaches you to bypass emotion—“stay strong,” “rise above,” “don’t take it personally.” The truth is, you are a person. And betrayal is personal.

Let Yourself Feel It All (Without Shame)

You don’t need to perform resilience. You don’t need to rush to forgiveness. You need to feel what’s real—so it doesn’t rot inside you.

Betrayal can come with a cyclone of feelings as your internal protector parts jump to attention. Here are some of the feelings that I've felt when in this space:

Anger
Rage
Grief
Confusion
Fear
Numbness

All of your feelings are valid. All of your feelings are important pieces of data. Give yourself time and space to process. Journal. Talk to a coach. Go for a walk and scream into the wind if you need to. But whatever you do, don’t abandon yourself.

The moment you start minimizing your own pain to protect someone else’s image or preserve “professionalism”—that’s when you start bleeding trust internally.

A word of caution: Be mindful about sharing your experience of betrayal with internal HR—their primary role is to protect the organization, not the individual. What can be marketed as a safe space may carry risks if there’s a conflict of interest or pressure to minimize what happened.

Self-Compassion Is a Power Move

This isn’t softness—it’s strategy. Leaders who know how to tend to their pain don’t just bounce back—they bounce forward. Leaders integrate what happened. Leaders grow sharper, wiser, and more discerning. But it starts by staying kind to yourself in the aftermath.

Leadership Practice:

Ask yourself: “What do I need right now that no one else can give me?” And then give it. Fully. Without apology.

Reclaiming Authority Without Losing Yourself

Once the initial wave of betrayal subsides, you’re left with a choice:

Do I harden?
Do I retreat?
Or do I rebuild?

Let’s be clear—reclaiming your leadership after betrayal doesn’t mean “getting back to normal.” There’s no going back. But there is a path forward—one where you lead with more clarity, courage, and conviction than before.

1. Reset Your Internal Compass

Ask: “Who do I want to be, even now?” What does leadership look like when it’s rooted in alignment—not ego? That question is your anchor. Come back to it every time you feel the pull to react small.

2. Take a Stand Without Losing Your Ground

Yes, you may need to confront someone or escalate. But do it from your centre, not your wounds.

Speak the truth. Set consequences. Protect your peace without turning bitter. Boundaries anyone?

3. Lead Openly—But With Discernment

Don’t shut down. Don’t go silent. Transparency builds trust—but only when grounded in strength.

Leadership Coach Suggestion:

Try something like this on: “I went through something that shook me. I’m still processing. But I’m here, I’m committed, and I’m moving forward with clarity.”

4. Redraw the Lines

This is your moment to realign and it is your responsibility as a leader to:

Redefine boundaries
Re-establish expectations
Reinforce culture built on values—not just results

5. Choose Who You Let Back In

Not everyone gets a second chance. Forgiveness isn’t required—but clarity is. Discern who aligns with your leadership, your values, and your vision moving forward.

Journal Prompts for Leading Through Betrayal

What part of this experience hurt the most—and why?
What am I no longer willing to tolerate in my leadership relationships?
What would it look like to stay grounded in my values, even when trust breaks?
Where have I abandoned myself to maintain peace—and how do I come back?

Your Humanity Is Not a Liability—It’s Your Leadership Edge

Let’s get honest: betrayal hurts because you care. Because you lead with heart. Because you expect better. And that’s not a weakness. That’s your power.

Leadership betrayal in the workplace doesn’t have to define you. But it can refine you.

You get to take the hurt and turn it into clarity.

You get to decide what comes next.

You get to lead—not from fear, not from pain, but from hard-won integrity.

Written signature of leadership coach James Powell

EXPLORE MORE:

What if the betrayal wasn’t just personal—what if it was cultural? Sometimes, the deeper truth behind betrayal is this: you’re in a system that protects power over people, silence over accountability, image over integrity. If you’re starting to see that the company’s written values don’t match the lived ones—you’re not crazy, and you’re not alone.

“Company Values Misalignment: When the Corporate Values + Employer Value Proposition Are Just Words on a Page ” I'll explore how to recognize systemic misalignment, and how to walk away with your values (and power) intact.